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October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Pregnancy INfant Loss

On October 25, 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. One in four pregnancies ends in the loss of a baby. Whether you have personally faced this great tragedy or just know someone who has, we urge you to spend the month of October raising awareness of pregnancy and infant loss. If you are interested in seeking or offering support, here are a few places to start:

Early Pregnancy Loss Support Chat being held on October 3rd, hosted by NationalShare.org.

The Official Site of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day provides a wealth of resources and support.

Directory of national organizations that support families who have experienced pregnancy loss or infant death.

Don't forget to join others all around the world on October 15th at 7pm (all time zones) to light a candle in loving memory of all the lost babies.  

The Importance of Respectful Adoption Language

Positi

Adoption has become more main stream with the help of celebrity adoptions and popular TV shows, like This is Us, but for too many people , it remains a topic they know little about.  This can be reflected in the words and phrases used when speaking about adoption.  Most of the time, off-the-cuff remarks or poorly chosen words are not used maliciously, but are indicative of the lack of knowledge surrounding the adoption process.

Words and phrases can evoke negative feelings when used in the context of adoption.  The opposite holds true when careful consideration is used to choose positive and respectful adoption language. The National Council for Adoption has put together this helpful list of commonly used adoption language with more positive replacements.

Accurate Language Less-Accurate Language
Birthparent/Biological parent Real parent, natural parent
Birth child Own child, real child, natural child
My child Adopted child, own child
Person/Individual who was adopted Adoptee
Born to unmarried parents Illegitimate
Make an adoption plan, choose adoption Give away, adopt out, give up, put up
To parent the baby/child To keep the baby
Child in need of a family Adoptable child/unwanted child
Parent Adoptive parent
Child who has special needs Handicapped child, hard to place
Was adopted Is adopted
Choosing an adoption plan Giving away your child
Finding a family to parent your child Putting your child up for adoption
Parenting the baby/child Keeping your baby
Confidential adoption Closed adoption
Unintended pregnancy Unwanted/problem pregnancy
Fully-disclosed adoption Open adoption

 

Patricia Irwin Johnston, an infertility and adoption educator, describes respectful adoption language as, “vocabulary about adoption which has been chosen to reflect maximum respect, dignity, responsibility and objectivity about the decisions made by birthparents and adoptive parents in discussing the family planning decisions they have made for children who have been adopted”.  So when Grandma Betty innocently asks why your adopted daughter’s “real parents gave her up”, try to not get offended and offer her examples of a more positive and respectful way to approach the subject of adoption.

California Paid Family Leave Bonding Claim

Bonding

Webinar: Paid Family Leave Application Process for 
Bonding Claims

On behalf of the California Employment Development Department, we are pleased to invite you to an informational webinar about navigating the Paid Family Leave application process for filing a bonding claim.

Research has shown that the application process for Paid Family Leave is one of the biggest barriers to eligible individuals using their benefits. In order to increase awareness and usage, we hope to help you get more informed about the application process for bonding claims in case you get questions from clients, employees, patients, and/or community members.

This webinar will cover the application process for filing a claim electronically or by mail, the documentation that is needed, and where claimants can go for assistance and more information.

Join us Tuesday, June 20, 2017, from 10 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. PT

Click here to Register

Please note, we strongly encourage participants to call into the webinar for a clearer connection. 

Dial: 877-309-2074

Adoption Books for Younger Children

Adoption Books for Younger Kids

CreatingAFamily.org put together an excellent, age appropriate list of books that will help introduce the concept of adoption and birth parents to younger children. These books are geared toward 3-8 year olds and can open the adoption dialogue between parents and children.

 

Mother’s Day While Waiting to Adopt

Hand Heart

You’ve been waiting to be matched with a birth mom for 6 months, 1 year, or maybe even longer. The wait is agonizing and seems like it will never end. Now you have to deal with yet another reminder of this; Mother’s Day. The card display at the local grocery store and commercials on TV with mothers snuggling their new babies simply rub salt in the wound. Yet another Mother’s Day will come and go and you still don’t have that baby you so desperately want. How do you navigate the conflicting emotions of this widely celebrated day?

 

Find Support

Use this opportunity to connect with other women in your situation. Don’t forget there are many women out there going through exactly what you are on this day. Find an online Facebook or support group and use it as chance to vent without feeling guilt.  You will find comfort knowing you are not alone in your feelings and there is no shame in how you feel. You may even learn what other women do to help themselves cope on particularly difficult days, such as Mother’s Day. Refer to our blog post to find an online support group.

Avoid Awkward Situations

Only you can gauge how personally upsetting it will be for you to be around others celebrating this day. Brunch with the family on Mother’s Day may be fine for some woman, where as it might trigger a lot of sad emotions for someone else. If you feel like avoiding a situation all together would be the right decision for you, honesty is the best policy. Explain to your loved ones how you are feeling and why you won’t be attending an event.  You may be surprised by how understanding people are to your circumstance. If you are faced with a less than sympathetic response, just remember you are doing what is best for you and anyone who truly cares about you will understand that.

Do Something Special for Yourself

You may feel like you have no reason to celebrate on Mother’s Day, but your journey to motherhood certainly deserves recognition. Use this day as a chance to treat yourself to something you normally wouldn’t. Get a mani/pedi, buy yourself something expensive, go out for a special dinner, or spend all day in bed binge watching your favorite TV show. Don’t ever feel like what you are going through doesn’t deserve celebrating. Strength, perseverance, and overwhelming love aren’t qualities only mothers possess; as you exhibit these traits every single day, while you wait for the baby that was meant for you. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for this. YOU DESERVE IT!

While the staff at Everlasting Adoptions think of our adoptive families every day, we are especially thinking of our waiting adoptive mothers this weekend.

California Paid Family Leave

For all of our Everlasting California families interested in obtaining more information on the Paid Family Leave program. A webinar will be held on Thursday, May 11 at 1:00pm CDT. Join the California Employment Development Department for this informational webinar. California is one of only four states to offer paid family leave, but the program is being underutilized.

Click here to register.

California FMLA

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