How can I be certain that the family I select for my child is a good family and will provide a safe home for him or her?
All of our families must be HOME STUDY APPROVED or in other words, become licensed to adopt. Extensive background checks are run on all of our adoptive families to make sure that they will provide a safe, stable and loving home for your baby. A licensed social worker will visit them in their home, run criminal and child abuse record checks on them, collect reference letters from their family and friends, and encourage them to complete educational courses about adoption and parenting. They will also have to prove financial stability and have a complete medical physical from their doctor. You can also get to know the family by asking questions about their lifestyle, values, morals and plans for raising your child.
You can get to know the family by emailing back and forth a few times at first. We feel this makes it a little easier and less awkward. We know that BOTH of you will be very nervous; this is NATURAL. You can then talk to them on the telephone by exchanging cell phone numbers, and then eventually, if you feel the desire to, you can actually meet them in person before actually delivering the baby at the hospital. If the adoptive parents are in another state, they can fly out to meet you at your convenience. Most of the time, you will email and talk on the phone before delivery, and they will actually meet you for the first time, at the hospital when you are about to deliver.
Can I choose to have an open or closed adoption with the family?
Your adoption plan is completely up to you. You can design an adoption plan that is most comfortable for you. Everlasting Adoptions provides you with a wide selection of loving families waiting to adopt. You can choose to meet the adoptive family and receive pictures and letters, or you may choose to have no contact with the family. Remember, there are many types of adoptions. You are able to hand select all of the options that fit your needs. We will guide you through every step of the way. We are all adoptive moms that work here, and we still talk to our own children’s birthmothers today!
Can an adoptive parent love a child as much as a biological parent?
While it is true that a biological parent holds tremendous love for their child, it is not a matter of biology. It is not inherited. An adopted couple’s love for your child is the result of a lot of effort and desire to be a parent. Adoptive parents have a true love and devotion to the child they adopt because they realize what a blessing it is to have a child in their lives. "...Our children can learn that... the concept of 'family' does not rest solely on biology. They can learn that closing one door can open another door and another and another...” - Caroline Harding, adoptive mother (Adoption-Is Another Word for Love, 2000).
Would a caring person give up her child?
A mother who unselfishly creates an adoption for her child is placing her child’s best interest above her own. It is an ultimate sacrifice for a mother to choose life for her child and realize what is best for her child. Adoption is a caring and responsible process that is as natural and loving as parenting. It does not mean that you do not love your child with all your heart. In fact, it means you love your child so much that you will sacrifice your own emotions for your baby.
Will having a baby be a way to receive unconditional love? Will my baby love me regardless of what I do and won’t judge me? Will having a baby add meaning and purpose to my life?
Although the answers to these questions can be 'yes', and the fact that parenting can be a very satisfying experience, a baby will not be able to show its love and support to you for some time. Babies are completely helpless and require their parents to do everything for them to ensure their survival. Parenting is a job that is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for the next 18 years of your life or longer. It is a commitment that you will need to be prepared for.
My family, friends, or boyfriend say they will always be there to help me out and pay for things.
You are the only person who can guarantee your child’s health and well being. You cannot rely on other family or friends who say they will help you because they may not always be there when you need help. They are not in your shoes, and although they mean well by offering their help, they cannot make the decision for you. Your family cannot guarantee they will be there at all times when you need to run an errand, have to work, want to take a nap, or want to go out with your friends. They also cannot be responsible for paying for everything. Many women who have chosen parenting over adoption due to their family’s influence have stated that their family and boyfriend are no longer around and don’t help as much as they promised. If you have family support that can help you with parenting, that is wonderful, but you cannot rely on it. You need to come up with a plan to raise your baby as if it will be just you and nobody else.
Are people right when they say that this is selfish of me?
Choosing adoption for your child is the most loving and unselfish decision that you can make. Adoption reflects positively on everyone involved. Your child will be able to have all the opportunities and experiences that you want for him/her. You are also able to move ahead and accomplish those goals that you may have for yourself and for your family. Due to your situation, it may be too difficult for you to raise a child at this point and adoption is a way to do what is best for your baby. Realizing that there are other families out there who are unable to have children and will love your child as their own can give you a rewarding feeling. Just knowing that you are doing something so wonderful for someone else is an amazing act of love. Adoption is your decision and therefore you are the only one who can make that decision. Have pride in knowing it takes a very strong person to recognize that adoption is the best option for the child.
It is important for you to surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and the adoption. Letting people know the reasons you chose adoption is a way to help others have more knowledge about adoption and how truly special it is to everyone involved. You are allowing a couple to become a family and your child to have everything that life has to offer.
Can my parents stop me from choosing adoption for my baby?
Adoption is your choice. This is your baby and you are the only one who will know if you can raise this baby. Your parents cannot stop you legally form creating an adoption plan.
Is this safe and legal?
Yes, adoption is safe and legal. The process is simple and confidential. All adoption laws are adhered to allowing you peace of mind that your adoption is safe, legal and ethical. All legal work is conducted by a qualified social worker. Everlasting Adoptions has completed many successful adoptions and is a member in good standing with the Better Business Bureau. We are also listed with the California Department of Social Services (CDSS). We also have parents and birthmothers that have used our services in the past. We encourage you to ask us for their contact info so you can personally talk to them yourself!
What if I go into labor? Can you work with me from the hospital?
Yes, we often receive calls from the hospital. We can have a family available for you within hours. The adoptive family will be able to take the baby home from the hospital, avoiding foster care. We have found that most birthmothers want to be sure that their baby can start bonding with their adoptive family right away. We are open for emergencies, on all weekends, holidays and through the night. We have families that can travel within a few hours nationwide.